2020 Hindsight

The 20th Century Kid

My grandfather died on Saturday, at about noon, east coast time. In the wee hours of that morning, he took a turn for the worse, and spent his final hours with his children and a few of his grandchildren at his side.

Born December 15, 1900, and living until 28 April, 2001, my grandfather lived through the entire twentieth century, as well as a little of the 19th and the 21st centuries. (yes, I'm of the school that the century begins in the year numbered 1, not zero.)

A friend pointed out that, while conversing about his life and his death, I was talking in terms of "I'm glad I gottas" rather than "I wish I coulda or woulda or shouldas." And it's true. I'm very grateful about so many things.

This story, Inheriting Physics, is the story that I wrote and recited for his hundredth birthday celebration last December.

Thanks to those of you who've been expressing your support for him over the last week. Oh, and updates here will be sporadic (if even that) over the next several days.

Technology, Communication and Bearing Bad Tidings

My Grandpa's improving; his numbers (heart, blood pressure, etc) are better and he's being moved from ICU to PCU (Progressive Care Unit). :D :D

(a bit of background for those who've found this page from the Scripting News link: my Grandpa is 100 years old and had partial hip-replacement surgery two days ago.)

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Technology and Communication and Etiquette of Really Bad News "How did I ever live without .....?" How many times have you said that after adopting some new technology: the phone machine...email... cell fone... weblogs.... What exactly did you do before you had a phone machine or voice mail? How would you findout that someone called while you were out? What did you do before email? What did you do before a weblog? The sense of "this communication technology's so much a part of my life now!" is prevalent, yes. But there are certain etiquettes that have to be addressed with a communication medium that is not face-to-face, or voice-to-voice.

How exactly do you communicate with someone remotely when you need to tell a person that someone has died?

A weblog 'what if?' I've been mulling this question some, as I have set up and updated a family-news weblog to keep family and friends apprised of news about my grandfather. Having taken the initiative to set up the weblog, I've put myself in the role of the main news conduit. I thought, "geez, if my grandpa does not make it through surgery, how will I handle that?" Would I want to learn news of his death by reading it from a web page? No way! And I will not put any of my family through that, either. That kinda situation calls for the good ol' fashioned fone call.

of fone machine etiquette Over the last decade-and-a-half, I have answered this question for myself—and discussed it among family members—as far as phone machines go. "Thou shalt not leave a message on someone's voice mail saying, 'Hi, this is Susan. I'm calling with bad news. [So-and-so] died of [certain causes] today/yesterday/recently.'" No no no no no.

I have gotten such messages from other people—sometimes being notified of the death of someone after I'd already learned the news. But hearing the message on the fone machine—even though I knew about it already—made me twinge inside.

Of course, when someone leaves that codified message that it's important please call back... well, that's not perfect either. It helps if someone is there to receive your return call. I once got a codified message that didn't tell the news, but did convey that it's dire and important; it used the dreaded phrase "family emergency." I listened, and immediately thought, "oh shit! Who? What? Aaack!" and then immediately return the call.... only to find out that no one's answering the fone right now at my parents' house. Then I had to frantically call around to other family members until I reached someone who could tell me the news.

I have also twice received the news of friends' deaths by listening to a voice mail message. In both cases (AIDS-related deaths), I knew that the person was seriously ill, so it wasn't a bolt-out-of-the-blue shocker. In one case, I did call back the person who was notifying everyone and urged her to leave a slightly different message on fone machines. In the other case, of my friend Jeffry Michael (whom I wrote about for AIDS day last December), I'd been holding vigil for a while, knowing that a few days previous, he "wasn't expected to live through the day."

What used to be 'Are you sitting down' is now 'Are you driving? Please pull over' And what of cell fones? In the middle of writing this, I got a call from a friend. I told her the latest good news about my Grandpa and then told her what I was writing about. She told me how, not so long ago, she learned of the death of a friend of hers... The news-bearer called her home number, and decided not to leave a message on her fone machine. Then the news-bearer called my friend on her cell phone. As it happens, my friend was driving at the time. Although the news-bearer had a good preamble to prepare my friend for the shocking news, she didn't take into account that my friend was driving. Fortunately, my friend pulled over and came to no harm. But I wouldn't want to process that kinda news at the same time I was negotiating traffic.

email: Subject Line I've also learned the news of the death of a friend via email. I have also gone on to notify others of that sad news through email. The subject line simply contained my friend's name. That has its up and down points...but no one is driving while checking email—I hope!

There never is a good time to bear this kind of bad news, but there are certainly better and worse methods to do so. Some of what I'm describing here is simple common sense. But when you're upset over the death of someone dear to you, who says you have any common sense? It's better to think of these matters when it's *not* that time, when you have the luxury of reflection, not action. Since this is the first time that I've thought about it for a family weblog, I figured that it'd be good idea to air these thoughts of how to do so here on my public blog where lots of other bloggers read about it.

I welcome any thoughts you have on the topic.

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Technical note: Whatever server that's serving up the Manila badges is really slow today so I took that outta my site template. Since it's javascipt, I totally axed it. Gotta bone up on how to comment out javascript so I can reinsert it more easily by uncommenting it. I think that the "other sites like this" banner ad disappeared from this site a while back when *that* was being served up slowly.

cooler

It's cooler today, hooray. I don't think I'm ready for sustained days of 90+ degree heat just yet. It's only April.

Finally found a web page that gives yesterday's high/low temperatures for all over the CA southland. Okay so it was 92 here and the highest temp in L.A. County was 2 degrees warmer. That's *still* warm. USA Today has a strategy for finding it in your area. Go to this page with all weather centers all over U.S., and click the one closest to you. Look for the link with the word 'Climate' in it to find the listings for your area. (the one for L.A. is Climate/Historical data.) And all of this because I haven't installed a thermometer!

I've been appreciating pictures of England, mini-Stonehenge, and New Mexico, the detailed postings on Booknotes, and Al's "you can't cheat death" musings. But have been too preoccupied to link to 'em or anything.

Grandpa's still in ICU, showing signs of improvement, tho blood pressure is still low. He's lucid enough and feeling well enough to have given a lil' grammatical lecture to the occupational therapist today. Heh. And some of my friends wonder where I get my grammatical 'tude.

one wait over, another to go

I got a call at 7:15am my time; the surgery is over and Grandpa came through just fine.

However, he spent several hours in recovery. His blood pressure is lower than they'd like; he's been moved to ICU where he and his blood pressure are being closely monitored.

A coupla days ago I set up a family-only weblog to monitor grandpa's progress and keep us all apprised. Today, all my weblog energies are devoted to updating that site.

. . . . .

Kaycee, having begun her trip to the ocean, says, "It's the quality not the quantity."

Waiting

Thanks for the email comments and postings n prayers and good karma for my grandpa. :D They will be doing a partial hip replacement surgery tomorrow (new ball of femur with wedge going down into the bone; no change to pelvic "socket" of hip).

From the Mom-phone-report: the orthopedic surgeon has good bedside manner; he cottoned onto the fact that my grandpa likes information—lots of it—and so the consultation and briefing this morning was filled with detail. Grandpa's vitals—pulse n blood pressure—are quite good for a man of 100. Still, surgery at age 100?!

. . . .

wow... the latest from Kaycee, an irreparable liver — a totally different perspective on age and life and health.

Oh for a Fit Femur!

Grandpa Many of you have "met" my Grandpa from reading A Lake George Diary and from my blogging his hundredth birthday last December. Right now he's in the hospital, with a fractured femur (thigh bone just below the "ball" where it joins the hip) caused by bone cancer. He's been in quite a bit of pain. His vital signs (pulse, blood pressure) are good, and they're considering doing a hip replacement surgery to wrap and strengthen the hip so it doesn't hurt so. Tomorrow's a big consultation/decision day, followed on Wednesday by surgery if that's the course to go.

If you're at all inclined to pray or think good thoughts, please do so...for Grandpa, and for his children, my mother and my uncle, who are on hand for the consultation and decision making.

Grandpa at his 100th birthday party last December

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War on Drugs: doing the math Based on the annual budget of $50 billion to fight the war on drugs, and the 2000 Census results that set the U.S. population at 281,421,906 people, the war on drugs annually costs each person in this country $177.67.

War on Drugs: random acts of violence Today's L.A. Times story describes how a CIA plane reported the missionary plane, and then, as the Peruvian Air Force escalated to shooting while the CIA doubted and questioned and said, "are you sure?"

In this case, the senior intelligence official insisted that the CIA had done nothing wrong because the crew had repeatedly warned that the plane's identity was in doubt.

�"Everybody regrets the loss of life, but from what I've seen, our people acted professionally and appropriately," the official said.

Then the story discusses the information from the Mission Agency: The missionary plane was using civilian frequenceis, the Peruvian Air Force was using military frequencies. Geez, if they don't respond, don't shoot, boyz, hail 'em on their own frequency.

L.A. Times Update: Peru Denise Claims Its Forces Ignored Rules

The (missionary) group's director of aviation, Hank Scheltema, said the missionary plane and the fighter jet were communicating on different radio frequencies. He said the Iquitos control tower recorded the missionary pilot's panicked radio call to controllers.

�����"They have recorded his voice when he was crying, 'They're going to kill us! They're going to kill us!'" Scheltema said.

Yahoo/Reuters: Missionary group reveals Peru flight plan.

``The pilot was in radio contact with the tower at the time

the shooting began. The tower people heard that and were aware

of what was going on over the radio,'' he (Loftis, president of the missionary group) said.

I love the war on drugs! They sure do know how to pick their targets!

Yow!!! Burbank Airport Bomb Scare on Friday: Apple Titanium Powerbook. Ouch! Powerbook suspected at 4:30 pm, the laptop owner was still being detained and questioned at 11pm.

Airport personnel took a swab sample from the computer and its bag, which "came up positive for a chemical residue of concern," although the titanium in the laptop might have triggered a false reading, officials said.

�����Sheriff's Department investigators and bomb squad technicians responded, as did FBI agents.

�����People were moved to a nearby baggage claim area and a restaurant was also evacuated. A fire door was lowered between the main terminal building and the checkpoint as a precautionary measure.

This Fragile Earth, Our Island Home...

What a beautiful introduction!

Happy Earth Day!! Stange, I almost typed "this hearth day" ...hearth, not as in a place for burning, but hearth, the place for gathering, the place that is home and comfort. The other thought going through my head is the one that made its way into today's title. It's a phrase from the Book of Common Prayer... "this fragile earth, our island home."

Yesterday, this island home of ours was spectacular... here are a few pix (yes, they're from the Arboretum!):

Nalism du Jour

After misty cloudy hazy days... a rainstorm last night, clearing today and sublime gorgeousness today. Who can be inside in front of the computer at times like this? Apparently, at this very moment, I can. But I've been outside a lot so far today, and will go there yet again before the sun goes down.

Nalism du Jour I've been following the journalism stories and threads that have been running on various weblogs. After Deborah Branscum got all red in the face over some AP story (news?! yer callin this dreck news?!?!) about Michael Jackson, here's a little perspective offered by Bill Moyer:

The Project for Excellence in Journalism conducted a study of the front pages of the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times, the nightly news programs of ABC, CBS and NBC, and Time and Newsweek. They found that from 1977 to 1997 the number of stories about government dropped from one in three to one in five, while the number of stories about celebrities rose from one in every fifty stories to one in every fourteen.

Hmmm... or is that Nihlism du Jour?

Venice Beach

Venice Beach is always interesting to visit.

Exotic people and their exotic pets.

Exotic, um, signage. I didn't read the fine print, but the headline was eye-catching enough:

And oh, in the late afternoon there is one heck of a breeze that blows from offshore, northwest. Skating toward Santa Monica and Malibu into that wind is, well, frankly something I'd like to avoid the next time I'm there.

. . .

Hey! Today's Sprezzatura also has a Venice foto!

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Speaking of exotic, er, pets, and yesterday's Bat feature, Craig writes about Austin bats.

Bats!

Yesterday at my horticulture class at the Arboretum, we had a guest speaker: Diana Simons, Bat Biologist. She told us lots and lots and lots of things about bats (check out the Bat Conservation International web site) and brought a bat for us all to look at.

Diana shows off one of the two bats she brought with her. (How 'bout those two bats? She rescued a bat with a broken wing. The bat's not yet ready to live in the wild again. Then it turned out that the bat was pregnant, so Diana ended up with two bats. The one that she showed off was the baby girl bat—now as big as the mama bat.)

Fortunately, she brought her around so that each of us could see the bat up close.

Here are mama and daughter bat hanging out together in the little cage she brought.

Some highlights from the lecture: If you find a bat that's lying on the ground, do *not* touch it!! (once you touch it, the humane society/animal control/some agency figures that there's been a risk of rabies infection. The way that they test to see if the bat indeed has rabies is to test for the disease in the rat's brain. The bat's head is cut off in order to get a brain sample—not a good thing for those bats that are not carrying rabies, as the test has a 100% mortality rate for all bat test subjects. How many rabies-free bats needlessly give up their lives if killed/tested? 90%. Only 10% of bats found lying on ground have rabies) Scoop it up with a towel, instead. And then call Animal Rescue...

Of the 4000 mammal species that exist, 1/4 of them are bat species.

Why'd we have a bat discussion for a horticulture class? Because bats eat insects, and some insects attack plants. Also, some bats—fruit bats—are means of fertilizing some trees by spreading pollen from flower to flower. In fact, we learned of one plant in central america that is bat-dependent: the flower blossoms at dusk and is gone by morning, therefore fertilized during the night...by a bat. Also, bats are very important for re-foresting areas that have been razed by slash-n-burn rainforest clearing. Bats eat fruit, digest seeds (which, amazingly, makes them more viable than if left untreated), and poop them onto forest clearings, starting the planting cycle once again.

Bats form the largest colonies of any warm-blooded creatures; one cave near San Antonio, TX (Brachen sp?), is home to some 20 million bats.

Uh, Craig ... from the Bat Conservation web site, where it highlights Texas, I gleaned the following: "Texas holds the interesting distinction of being the battiest state in the country. It is the home of not only the largest known bat colony in the world, near San Antonio, but also the most famous urban bat colony, in Austin, and perhaps more public bat-viewing locations than anywhere else. We hope that each of the sites listed in this brief guide offers you a memorable experience of the beauty and intrigue of bats." I don't even want to consider the political implications of this!

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Real Lives of Real People on the Net: Webcam meets Napster meets full access to computer First there was the webcam. Then there was Napster. Now you can have full access to Renato's and Tania's computers. New York Times: Arts Online: Artists Share Their Files and Lives on the Web

Visitors to their Web site, http://www.0100101110101101.org, are greeted by the message "Now you are in my computer." A one-page index appears, its functional look belying the radical experiment in online openness that "Life Sharing" is. Except for a few sensitive files, like those that might allow the project to be erased, the machine's contents — software, e-mails, even error messages — are available to everyone in a hodgepodge of languages.